Episode 4 - The Mixed Up Fantasy

This week we explore fantasies and maybe a fetish or two… don’t mind our tangent as we of course go off road like only we can.
Please don't forget to like & Subscribe this podcast on the channel you are listening on.
Listen our Previous Episodes
Episode-3
The Pillow Talk with Kim
https://themixeduplife.buzzsprout.com/2130938/12227432
Episode-2
MixedUp ToyBox
https://themixeduplife.buzzsprout.com/2130938/12220591
Episode-1
Introducing our show
https://themixeduplife.buzzsprout.com/2130938/12212660

Thanks and have fun!!
Follow us on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/themixeduplife/

Transcript

 The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker's own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of any corporation, company, or employer. Let's get weird. This is the mixed up life. Let's face it. Most podcasts are boring and very few of them get real and raw Will. Are definitely about to change that lifestyle, sex, parenting, relationships, entertaining and living in the moment.

Real raw conversations, the mixed up life. And now your hosts, Adrian and Kim.

Okay. I can pick any one of these topics. Yes, yes. This is just a random topic. Pick one and just Is there a question? It's not a question attached to. Okay. What do you want? Okay. , just pick a topic. Okay. Here's a, here's a topic. Let's talk about, it's right in the middle. Fetishes. Oh gosh. Oh, this is a good one.

You would talk about fetish. This is a good, I bet you can't guess like 90% of. I bet mine have grown and we haven't stopped to talk about I like how you're like blurred in the background. I'm like right here. That was good. Go ahead and tell them about your fetishes. No, no, no. I, I You said I get to ask first.

Oh, so you get, okay. Okay. I'll come back out of focus. I don't know. To this day, I still really don't know what a fetishes a fetish is. Okay, so define fetish. You what? Let's, let's go and let's look it. . Okay, so we're gonna be, we're gonna be, okay. So while you look it up, I'm gonna tell you what I think it is.

Let's go and I'll see, we'll see how close you're, I think of fetishes as like, Weird things that you like that other people might not like, like people who have fetishes of feet. So you, you, you're putting an extreme on a fetish, right? Okay. So what, what is, does Google say I, I get it, but you just kind of like put it in a negative context.

Okay. It's not a negative context. You could like fee all the time, like whatever. I, I think fetish. Something weird that you like that is literally negative Connot connotation. That's not negative. Weirdness doesn't have to be negative the way you said it. US . Oh, that's not what I meant. Ok, here we go. Ok, I'm gonna read it.

A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object item of clothing, part of the body, et cetera. You are telling me, hold on. Abnormal is not the same. . Weird that I know. If you look at it at the sores, abnormal is almost Is weird. Is weird. Okay. I'll give you that though.

Okay. Just But it has to be sexual in nature does. It does. Okay. All right. Okay, so I didn't know that. And it could be an object item of clothing, part of the body, et cetera, but there's also some other things that relate to fetish in the sense of worship, spirit inhibitions, and even inhabitant object. I did not know the inanimate objects, but I guess that goes with items of clothing, et cetera.

Inanimate. Inanimate objects or in, what is that? What do you mean inanimate? So like objects that aren't real like a chair. Oh, I was thinking like a storm Trooper inm. , uh, I mean, technic, I mean, technically, yeah. Okay, let's go. What, so by that definition, and I, I imagine, but do fetishes have to be like a, cuz I think I'm mixing fetishes with turnons, you know, and I, I think it's so interchangeable and close nowadays.

Cause technically, fetishism can be an attribution of inherent value or powers to an object. So it's very, uh, it's very object driven when it comes to fetishes, but it, my fetish, maybe it's more of an idea, maybe, maybe more of a concept to someone. Mine. Okay. We, what we've learned recently, okay, go, is that I don't know what my fetish is until in the moment.

So what I. Might be a fetish. I, it might not even be a fetish for me. It's just something that I think about and then when it happens, it's like, ah, okay, so what would yours be right off the bat? I'm just really sure. And am I, maybe we should use fetish and fantasy, like can put a slash in between it. Uh, because I think that would be, so the thing with us is that fantasies could be a reality.

So I don't know , but remember we talked about, , a lot of the times you talk about like your fantasies. Mm-hmm. . And for me, as your wife and as your partner, I want to fulfill all the fantasies and everything. Like I and Adrian will tell you. I never say no, like, and say don't tell me. I, I, I, I want the same for you.

Okay. But I'm just saying. Openly. Like that's just who I am. It really is. Yes. What Like I can cut and it's like things that like he'll just mention in passing and then the next like couple sessions that we have, like it'll happen. It'll happen. So it's like leaving it like in my brain. Should I leave Post-it notes around?

No, don't leave Post-it notes around because Lucy's gonna start reading soon. Oh my gosh. . So I guess like my turn on because I can't, I don't think it's a fetish. You don't wanna categorize. Yeah, I don't wanna categorize Cause I don't think it's a fetish. I think it's, I'm very shallow, so I love Adrian's physique.

I love like abs, I love definition, like fair enough. Um, glasses are a really big thing. I do like glasses. I think they're super good. I. I like clean shaven, short hair, even though I'm not right now. But recently I've also really liked you having hair cuz I had something to grab on so I can like steer you in certain directions.

Fair enough. I also really, I think that could be a fetish hair can be a fetish. Yeah. But like it has, you have to look clean. I obviously. And not like, which is why I get haircuts. I really hair like I think of the scene that from Meet the parent, like meet the fas and they're playing basketball. I remember.

And his face. Why do you think I man groom so much goes like all over his like hairy ass chest with all the sweat and everything. So that is, that is literally why I. But you didn't recently groom until you started doing CrossFit. No. No. It like, you didn't, you never shaved your legs until, until I lost like weight.

Yeah. And then you started shaking and I was, I I'm just gonna gro like your arms probably could bend in areas that I never knew your arms could bend. Yeah. I'm gonna reaching your back. Men's grooming technology has reaching all. So why don't you tell me your fetishes and fantasies and turnons and you name like two things and, because I can't think of it, so that's why I'm like, why don't you name yours?

Okay. Okay. The list. I'll start. And girls, if you're out there, no, I know that you're listening, but here's his list so that you know I do. Okay. So if we talk about like shallow things. Okay. I do like a level of fitness. Okay. Okay. Obviously, and I'm not talking about like you have to be like really in shape.

I'm talking about, it's like the idea of fitness. Okay. Right. I'm big into mom. . Yes you are. I'm big. And that's probably because my wife, we have two kids and she's always stayed just amazing, like as a mom. So when I see like the, it's something about the mom thing, right? And if you, you like the mom pooch too?

Nah, nah, I wouldn't call it that. But I like a little bit of like, if you got wide hips, if you got. That, that couple. So you're telling me that you've lied to me this whole time. If you got like my mom, if you got that couple of extra pounds, that's just stubborn  and you wanna find other ways to work it off.

Yes. You're the man. No, I didn't say that. I just said yes and I left three dots out there. Okay. I enjoy probably impact play, I guess. I think that's what they call it. Spank. Like light slapping. He likes doing it. No. Oh, I don't like it. I don't like it being done to me. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, yeah, that doesn't Correction.

Yeah. I should, I should specify. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, you should. Um, I like doing it. I don't like it being done to me. Yeah. Oh my God. Like getting slapped out would really ruin the moment. And it, oh, okay. So since you, I don't mean to cut you off, but that makes me think of, I, I liked being spanked. I like being choked.

I like, there you go. So, yeah, I, I, I like all of Rihanna's s and m things like, I like the whips and the chains and like, I like the, I like the bdsm, but Adrian likes being dominant. I'm very submissive. I enjoy being submissive, but I only enjoy being submissive to my husband. So I don't think I ever would be submissive to another person.

Yeah. I dominant, yes, but not submissive. Yeah. I would never think that's a big, I don't think that. S I don't have that submissive nature in me unless it's like our slow down. Like I'm going to let my wife guide her own pleasure like last night, like, like last night by using me. Oh yeah, my glasses. That's the only, that is literally the only time I'm, I'm submissive.

Okay. So what other, what other fetishes do you, um, we haven't done like a ton of it. Like BDSM stuff? Yeah, yeah. Like, okay. But I'm, I, I want to like venture and research into more Yes. Like, especially that bondage. Bondage, like really Adrian is very much into research. . So he reads a lot of articles and he does about books.

Yeah, like books. And it's like, it actually, yeah. He finds like it has to be like cited material, like actual studies that have been done so well. I, I, that's very interesting one, I want to, I wanna make sure that I'm not just doing it just to do it, like Yeah. I don't want to venture into it without it being Yeah.

Because anything you do in a relationship, like it could come back to bite you. Like if you don't, okay, so tell me more. If you. If you wanna break down the bds N I wanna do like ropes. Okay. Like I wanna learn how to tie all the ropes. Okay. Toys are big and I don't think a lot of men will say that. Like, I know the first I enjoyed that toy that you tried was a constriction ring.

Okay. That was different  and. Just be worn. They're like, you gotta make sure it's right cuz it sometimes they, I don't know. . , I, okay. Okay. Moving on. Okay. Okay. To Toys are good though. Yes. I enjoy toys. Okay. Lingerie lately, less on the lace, more on the leather sign. And you don't have leather, but I like things that remind me of leather or if you push to get.

Yeah, so less on the lace. More on the leather and rougher. Oh yeah. You also like chokers. I like chokers. You also like mask, chokers. Mask. And. Collars. Let me elaborate on mask. Okay? Mask is big, not ladies. We're not talking like masquerade mask. We're talking ski mask with nothing but your eye cut out and like a small hole for, I don't even care about your eyes.

Yeah, so it, I just want your mouth and I want your, a ponytail at a time, , so he all can grab it. Yep. Mm-hmm. . Um, yeah, that's it. No, I mean, there's probably some other things. Yeah. You, what's some other things that I might be missing? Girl on girl. Oh, uh, okay. You, oh, I was, we right. We're doing fantasy kind of thing.

Yeah. Girl on girl Big. And not necessarily like me even being involved, it's just becau first off, Kim has very like bisexual tendencies. Without admittedly go and I don't know, like, I feel like there's a crux here. Okay. I So no address. No. Let me, lemme go full. Go ahead. Lemme go full circle. Go ahead. Full circle.

And then I will defend myself. You don't have to defend yourself because I feel like I have to, you're in a safe place. Okay. Okay. And you've always been in a safe place. So I've witnessed, I've heard, and I've, I've been there for some of,  all but hardcore bisexual moments that you've had. I kind of, we should visit this.

Like, what, what is, like, what are moments that like really stick out to you? Whereas like, I think if I, if there wasn't other people there, there would've been more like what though? I wanna know what actions you think is considered like that I've done. That might make sense. Like groping and you know it all, but going all the way right.

Is. No. Well, but don't cut, don't cut me short. I'm not gonna cut you short, but like, I'm trying to, here's, here's where we are though. So the reason the girl and girl thing is so prevalent, and it's probably like at the top of my list, and this is even without me being involved, literally put me in the corner of the room.

I don't put me outside the room. I don't care. I don't put me, I would literally go grocery shopping and when I come back, tell me all about it. Oh God. But here's the thing, it's because there.  and it may not be, and don't get me wrong, I, I think you're a pillow princess by definition. I think you are the type to go, okay?

Light, kissing, touching, examining each other's bodies in terms of like feeling it out. But just short of you eating pussy is like probably your state of bisexual nature. Okay? So are you. . I'm done. I think I stated my, my case. Yeah. That's not really a case. It's, it's there. No, it's not. It's open and shut as they would say.

Okay. So I'm just gonna, okay. For me, I've been very, because I'm continuously growing mm-hmm.  and I'm learning and my body is changing and I'm learning how to love myself and like. Be okay with the new body that I am in. Like I have to come to the realization that my body is never gonna go back to pre-baby.

And it's, it's very, very hard. I'm still like trying to process that, like things don't fit. So I've told myself that I. Need to work on acknowledging beautiful women when I see them. And also even if it means like touching them and having fun. Now does it turn me on? No. So that's the one off that I wanna get on.

Like, I feel like if I was bisexual, like like women would turn me on. Oh, okay. I see. And those of you who are out there, maybe you could help and explain this to me, but like I'll say what I. As a woman, I feel like I can learn how to appreciate other women's body. Like today, I was sitting on Instagram and like, your mind can go in one or two directions when it comes to seeing a woman who is beautiful on Instagram or they're in fitness and knowing that your husband liked their picture and like you're just like, oh, okay.

So it's, it's going one or two ways. That bitch or going, you know what, I actually think she's, she's gorgeous and she's worked hard for it and she's making a living off of this, and that's great for her. Um, and I should acknowledge that. So that's where I am. I like it. So it is very challenging though, because I have to get out of the negative context.

Because there's no, there's no reason for me to be malice about it. Um, so in order to grow as a person, I have to at least acknowledge the positive in other people's lives. So it's saying like, I'm not gonna follow you, but from afar I'm gonna admire you from a distance cuz you've worked hard for it and you are a mom and I should be respectful and I don't know anything about you.

So,  for that. So when we go out mm-hmm.  and I acknowledge other women and I you you're acknowledging by groping and touching. Yeah. So if I grope your tits, then you know, like you're, and you don't stop me. And I go, these are really nice. And as a woman, I feel like I'm okay with you. You're ridiculous. I feel like that Just be quiet.

How much you Okay. Okay. It okay. No, wait. I'll take your, so when we're in the. Oh God. And another woman is with us. Just stop. Okay. Painting the picture here. Mm-hmm. , another woman is with us. What did I tell you? Pause. Another woman is with us. Every act that goes on in the bedroom is your pure appreciation for the woman's body and nothing sexually intriguing.

Yeah. God damn. Okay, so here, let's, let's backtrack those . I know I have to, you just proved the point. No. Okay. So. , and I have told you this and I'm gonna openly say it now too. Yeah. My vision of having a woman join us in the bedroom, a threesome with a woman. Mm-hmm.  is me sitting in the corner smoking a cigarette, watching YouTube.

Do whatever, but I'm gonna manage that. I'm gonna tell you what you're gonna be doing. Why? So why wouldn't you want to join? Like that's, I think that's the thing. Okay. So do you remember us talking about how there are some men that like to just watch their wives with other men? Yeah. So your wife likes to watch you with another woman.

Okay. I mean, that makes sense when you put it, yeah. When you put it. . I just, I don't know. Maybe it's because I want you to be included so bad. You do. Yeah. I think that's, you have this like thing of Well, one thing, okay. One thing undeniably I want is to see you with another woman. Oh, I know. Like, that is just time.

It's like in my head. I don't know when it's, it's gonna come out. But remember, I don't say no to you, but even if it's like a ten second encounter, like boom. . I don't know. There's a lot of hesitation around it, and I don't know if it's considered homophobic, like I don't think I'm homophobic. No, because I, like, I don't, no, not at all.

But I think for me, I just don't, it's, it just doesn't turn me on. No, I, no, I mean, yeah. Mm-hmm. . , it'd be really awkward for you to walk around and be like, Hey, I think you have great abs. But I see men. Yeah, I know, right? Yeah. But I see men acknowledge you all the time so that, yeah, so it's just exact same way, except they don't touch you.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. But I do, yeah, that's the confusing part to me. So forgive my confusion, . So I've forgive. Forgive the, it's kind of like when we went on our trip and I showered with one of our, And then it was like, but that's not a thing. I was like, it's just seeing each other naked. If that was all that's happened, that's all that happened.

I mean, again, I wasn't there. I don't know. I don't recall if anyone dropped the soap, but yeah, again, I wasn't there. I wouldn't know. Yeah. See, I only know what you tell me. Yeah. And what I, what I witnessed firsthand. Now, have I like kissed a girl? Yes. But that's okay. But that's. , listen, your, your sexual identity is if anywhere safe.

That's right here. I understand that, but I like that you, like you, you're projecting things onto me. Like how I'm, like, I'm re I, I, you know, I, and all jokes aside, I'm really not. I I can see exactly your point, like really and truly. So I don't think I ever explained it to you. That's why No, you did it. Yeah.

And forgive the sarcasm, but. . I think it's, I think it's spot on. No, I, oh, another fetish. Another that I didn't think , come on. So I'm very much into listening to lyrics very intently. Oh goodness. So like Cardi and like, what is it, sweetie? And Megan Thee stallion like, I love those lyrics, so I try to make those lyrics into a reality.

Just like how when Card says That's true. Yeah. Touched a thingy thing in the back of my throat. That's exactly what I like what Adrian does. That's true. You know? True. That's true. So those are the kind of the things that I think about. Right. That much You, you, yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. , that's a very fetishized thing.

Mm-hmm. . Okay. Yeah. When I listen to those songs, though, I don't. Think that way. Like I think like, oh, these are, these are the acts. Oh, I want to do them. But I think like, but by that time we've already, we're already doing it. So it's just like, oh, this is great. Yeah, because I'm leading it U usually. Yeah.

Yeah. But now you know the underlying, well, no, no. I've kind of always known that I like, Hey, I'm taking advantage of this. But no things like the mask night, things like that. That was definitely like me. Just good luck. Like you punched the ticket, , you're on the train. Get ready for the, I'm also, I think I'm, this is dangerous on my part.

Um, I always accept the challenge and I have never, you probably shouldn't though. Yeah, not all. Not all of 'em. And there's been some nights where I've been like, yeah, that one, she's going down. She's not, it's gonna be a few days before we're back at it. Well, I mean, worth it, but.  like a matter of like, uh, that was a little too rough.

And as we dis and that's why I do all the, the research and especially on the BDSM thing. Like I want to like re I, I wanna put like a couple of different text. Adrian wants a whole sex room. He wants, like I do. Yeah. The 50 shades of gray. No, I, not to that extreme. I think just a couple pieces of furniture.

I would love that. And a wall of maybe a couple Flos and whips, collars. And chains. That's exactly what 50 Shades of Gray had. I didn't really pay attention to the room. I didn't You see the room in the first movie? Yes, I did. I actually, yeah, I, I, maybe I didn't pay attention. I did. Again, he never really likes the movie because he doesn't find the attractive

I did. I didn't find the, uh, I guess she would be the protagonist and then find Mary. I don't think the. The idea behind 50 Shades of Gray. I don't think it's the fact that they're not attracted by any means. It's just the act of itself. So as a woman, for me, a lot of the times when you watch porn and when you see things, you envision yourself in that scenario.

In the moment. Yeah. Yes. So that's what I envision. I envision you doing that. Here's why I I, for movies like that, you know, this is a different context. , every time there's like this big blockbuster, it's like, oh, this is based on the book, the best selling, blah, blah, blah. I always go and I always read like an excerpt from Oh, so it's got from the book.

Okay. So I, I read and then I, I ended up liking it and I was like, I don't know. I was so many pages in to the excerpt, and then it basically breaks down how this guy is, he's a, he's a sadist. And and do you remember telling me that at one point you thought you were borderline, like the things that you want to do?

Oh, definitely. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. And, and now I, trust me, I backed down from that. Like I'm definitely not a sadist. Like I've, I've researched enough and I've, I've known my identity enough to where I know, like when I'm whipping you, like it's not punishment. It's like, Stop. I, I mean, seriously. But, and for him though, I mean, obviously I think it's like the second movie or third, I don't know how many they made, but at some point in time he's all but like just whipping her ass just to whip it.

Like he's dishing out undeserved punishment. He's dishing out a lot of his own trauma and trauma. Yeah, that's, so that's what a sadist is. So that's why I can't relate to, yeah, to that. So, no, I'm not a sadist, but when it comes to like BDSM and stuff, like I, I want like a mutual pleasure gang bang is on your there, on your, yeah.

I think it's like a participation thing, but I think it's more of like you being the center of attention thing. That's the only thing I could really, like, remember I had talked to you about that and all like Yeah. Yeah. I was like it when, at first when I heard gang bang, I think of like, just like a really bad like with consent kind of session.

Yeah. Yeah. But, When you watch a gang bang, she's like, wared sometimes. Like there's like, yeah, there's some that are very much like she is the center of attention. She is like a pillow princess. Like she's just, that's, and then you have, that's how I picture it. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't picture it like, they're just like total, no, don't get me wrong.

Like I have pictured it, like the total degradation of like, we just leave you in a puddle kind of. , you've done that before? Yes. But all the same. I picture, at least for the first one, you to be like, worshiped, center of attention, that kind of thing. But I think that takes like a, a trial run. A tr Yeah. I guess I don't, uh, when it comes to your pleasure, it's, it's very, what do you call it?

I'm, I'm an enabler when it comes to your pleasure. So it's just like, you can tell me something and I'll be like, okay. Yeah. Like, and I want to produce the best version of that for you. So, yeah, I, I'm an enabler when it comes to your pleasure, because your pleasure turns me on. And that has been the shift, like I think in our sex lives too, where as before, like I could be just turned on regardless of your pleasure, like that was before.

Now, if you're not pleased, if I, if, if there's something that's not triggering pleasure and it's kind of just like an. . I'm not all the way there. I can see that. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. . So it's just like, because you, you, yeah. Like, um, since kind of going over communication and stuff like you, you're very open and like just, and telling me like, we can't just have sex just because you, yeah.

No, I, you think that I need to have sex? Yeah. And that's a huge narrative by the way. I, I was, I was actually watching this thing and it was talking about, they brought a group of people into a room and it's like men on one side, women on the other side. And the question was something around how many people think men should always have sex when asked every woman.

Stepped up, all right to say yes. And every man stood back, and then they all came together to discuss. And one guy was like, you know what? I was in a relationship in which absolutely my partner's libido was like crazy high. And mine was pretty high too. But the reality is it's just like I, I was like a one and done guy.

Like, I was just like, okay, I can have sex, I can have an orgasm, and I'm done like that. That was my one for the day. Let's move on to day number. , right? And the woman was like, well, that doesn't make sense to me. If, if I'm a beautiful woman, I'm right in front of you and we have sex. And then 30 minutes later I go, let's go again.

And you're, you're not, you're not turned on. You're not getting a hard on because of me. Like, what's wrong with you? And he goes, that's exactly why that relationship didn't work out. Because if I was on, if the shoe was on the other foot and I said, Hey, Just cuz I got a six pack and my dick's hard, I need, I need sex here, this, that and the other.

And, and for some, for some women sure. Maybe, right? If, if it matches. Right. But the reality is it's just like there's a lot of different factor, you know, factors that go into that. But it's always been told the narrative of the woman's, the guy should always be ready to. . Right, right. That's always kind of been the narrative and my narrative has shifted where like, absolutely in my twenties didn't matter.

I don't care who's getting pleased? Doesn't matter. The wind blows the wrong way. I'm ready to go Uhhuh  right now. It's like, is I, I think through all the, like the, the things, it's like, first off, is my wife in a happy place? Is she mentally.  healthy? Is she physically healthy? Is my household okay? Are my kids okay?

Or is our job's okay? Is our finance is okay? Cause my dog said is, you know, all these different things. You go through the checklist and then by the time you get to like, okay, is my wife turned on by me? That's another c. Is the moment right? Is a kid gonna cry in the next 30 minutes to an hour, maybe multiple hours, and you go through like all these things and then if you somehow magically check all those boxes, you're like, yeah, absolutely.

We just have gotten really good at checking those boxes early and often to be able to be like, yes, this is the moment, but for 99% of couple. They're not able to check out those boxes. They're not in the house with each other all day long to be able to do those things. By the way, we both work from home and we have yet to say we're sick of each other.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yet. But also we do frequent, like we go to the gym, we do leave the house. So we do our own individual things. Yeah, we do do our own individual things. Um, but yeah, the the point being is just. , we gotta change. I think we do have to change that narrative a little bit. Like I almost had that narrative for while, but that's really hard to change.

Super. That narrative and you have to work together to change it. Oh, that's super hard. Yeah. It goes back to knowing what weighs on someone's mind. Yeah. You don't know unless you, right. So remember I was talking to you like not realizing how much. , um, financial security as a big factor was a factor, huge factor for me.

Yeah. And the minute it was like gone, like everything else was just like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. And you, you've al yeah. You've always been very type A in that, in that regard. So that one kind of release for you opened up the door to focus on that, you know, other things. Mm-hmm. , like, you know, so that was fetishes.

Yeah. . I mean, I imagine there's more, there's probably a, a few on the list. I feel like you, you usually name a lot more, so that's like, oh my goodness's really strange that it's, it's hard when you're put on the spot when you know, but I imagine there's a ton, like I don't, you can't fetish size, I don't think, like anal, right.

I don't know. Anals big. Like I like we need to do more anal. Yeah.  for you.

Yeah. I gotta specify again for you. I was like, I got some anal beats for you baby. No, I'm good. And you can tell me how it feels. No. Mm-hmm. And you haven't like really explored that, but what about rim jobs? No, I'm all. Like bring that on . Just no penetration . And I know that's like very hypocritic. Like that's hypocritical.

But the anatomy is, is different. I listen, I've read the stuff and it's like a huge trend or something where it's like, oh, random jobs. No, no, no. Like guys like penetration, like anal and stuff like that. Yeah. Cuz you start wondering if. ? No, I've never, I've never, I've always been very comfortable in my sexuality.

Like I'm just talking about other men, babe. Oh, okay. Well, no. Like, listen, I, I realize it's anatomy. Everybody has it, right? Yeah. And this whole thing about like your prostate and stuff, it's, it exists. Right? Okay. Okay. It, it's a reality. But the uncomfortable part of being able to get there, I don't, I can never over overcome.

Mm. Like, so rim jobs, that's where we, we would stop after a shower. Um, obviously hygiene is like numer. Yeah. But more anal for you for sure though. Mm-hmm.  the same. What else? I don't really have. Like when we go to the club, that's not really a fantasy, but, oh, you know what it is though. Oh, going to the club like voyeurism, voyeurism is a huge, that should be like one of the top, so that's, that's a fetish top things I would like, but I never.

Because we're drinking in there and I'm not sober. Like I never believe When you say that, people actually like to watch us. They do. It's, it is a, I've all first off, but they never approached us. There's, there's only been like two times at the club where I haven't been like completely sober, um, ever, ever since then.

Like I've been like sober. Sober. Right. Okay. Um, like maybe one drink, but that one drink is not. Yeah. You know, so the last time we. . It was, it's like a room stop type of thing. Like the perfect, this is what was happening before we walked in there, and then we walked in there. For this to stop happening is very different.

Okay. Okay. There was two girls on top of each other. Oh, that was recently? Yeah. With a, with a guy. Mm-hmm.  doggy style. Yeah. On, on one of the girls. Right? On the girl on top. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. In the main room. Mm-hmm. . We walk in the main room, we. We're like right next to them. Now we're right in front of them. Yeah, it's right there.

All attention refocused, like absolutely refocused. So it's, I don't crave that attention. I like the act of it. Us being so comfortable to be in a group of people and still have art chemistry. I, I like the feeling of being able to be with you.  in a room full of people and I don't know, it's a room full of people until we're done.

Oh yeah. We do that a lot. Like that is a plus, but no one ever really approaches us, so that's why I never know. Like, so I talked to a couple, well, a couple mention, and they, you know what they said. They said it is probably because you look like. , you look like you do what? Like we look like what we look like, what does that mean?

Like, we're f we're fit, we're, you know, we're younger. Okay. That kind of thing. And I was like, nah, that's not, that's not, I don't think that's the case. But then they said, well, we, we we're looking at your pictures and we know now what, that you're good looking and you're intimidating when it comes to like sex and stuff like that.

So, I don't know. Maybe. Maybe that is the case. I don't think it is. I'm still not convinced. I think it's a matter of everybody is at one time and another. We reject a lot of people, though. We do, but being picky is not bad. Yeah. But we also, we like what we like, we just say No. I think we need to be more open-minded in terms.

The friend category and then like, you may potentially, like, we can't look at everybody like, Hey, we might potentially fuck you, kind of thing. Um, that's a bad confession. Bad. Go ahead. Wait, what do you think it is before I confession? Oh, I don't know. It was that night. Okay. Go ahead. I don't, I don't know. I borderlined almost.

If I had a really good look at her, I would've said, okay, whi, which. The girl that was speaking Russian, maybe. I think she was French. Yeah. Do you see her? I didn't really see her. That's why I was like, but I was borderline like maybe we should ask to see. She had a great body. She definitely Did. You see the faces more than I do.

She was probably mid forties. But still I don't, I don't have a thing with age. Age is, I just think like, it's just like in general, like just inviting, but not knowing where it goes. No age didn't, age didn't matter. Her body was nice, but for, you know what I instantly thought when she was like, Hey, can I join you?

Yeah. I instantly thought like our chemistry right now, Won't add to a third person. Huh? It was, you know what I mean? It was like, I, I'm really enjoy becau, first off, I hadn't been able to have you for a few nights. Like Okay. Alone. Oh, yeah. All right. And. , that was like kind of our moment and I had like a couple of alone moments with you.

Mm-hmm. . And then it was a matter of like, this girl just came outta nowhere and was just like, I, I mean she wasn't came outta nowhere, but she was watching us. Yeah. Like make out. I'm like, and she, I think she saw that level of intimacy and I was like, oh, these motherfuckers are hot. Like everybody else is like just doing it.

Yeah. But they're doing it. That kind of thing. And that's why she wanted to join. And then her husband, what I'm assuming is her husband who translated for her all intents and purposes were like, was like, oh please, y'all can take my wife for the rest of the night, . I'll just be over here having a drink at the bar.

That kind of thing. So another time place in mood. Yeah, maybe. But. For that moment, I had, I had already made the judgment call when I was just like, no, I'm, this is a very nice, intimate moment with my wife. Fast forward like an hour later when we were like going at it maybe, so it's, it's funny how that evolution of like you go through, right?

Well, I don't know if you, if you would've seen her, if it would've made a big difference or whatever. I don't think so. I think we're both kind of in the same, on the same level. We usually are very on the same page. We are, I will say that. Yeah. Very much on the same page. So it was not, uh, the nicest parts aren't never necessarily like the sex, like, even though it's amazing, but a lot of times it's like the, just the fun atmosphere part.

It's like dancing, making out on the dance floor, like teenagers, like you. Just that kind of thing. I do, I was thinking today as I was driving that I think some women like going to the club not for like, like seeking sex, but more because they could like openly dance in their lingerie with no one judging.

I think that more than, than anything. Yeah. Like they just, they don't ever go to the back or anything. They're just like out dancing and it's like, let me be myself without judgment. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. . And I don't, I personally, I think that's great. I think, like, for instance, we'll go to a club, right? And you always do this thing where you're like, open my shirt, right?

And I, like, in a normal club, I, I'm uncomfortable. Like, I'm like, okay, I gotta put a couple buttons back up. That kind.  that club. I'm like, this shirt man, whatever. I've seen you like dance. And I have, but it always unbuttoned. It always comes back up though. Okay. It al like there's always a moment where it's just like we're always close and it's in a crowd so I don't have to like, it's not like I'm fully showing in that place.

Whatever. I've seen you unbutton your shirt in front of our friends, same karaoke, but it always comes back up and that's our friends. That's different. And that's all also in like a closed room, blah, blah. These are complete strangers in this club. And I'm like, shirt off in my underwear. Okay. You're gonna have to like divvy this up.

Oh, we'll divvy it off. That's fine. Okay, so this is just like extra, extra. Okay. This is okay. We're good. Extra credit, extra extra credit. No, but I think that's what that environment is. It's just, it's fun. Like you, I think the last, what, four or five times we've been there, I, I walked in.  and purely no expectation.

I go, I just want to dance with my wife. I want to have intimate conversations. I wanna be a little more handsy and public than I usually am, like in a normal place. And if something happens, it happens. You notice that every time we go, like I've. I've improved in my figure  every time we go. Well, I mean, you just do that every day, so not every day.

I, I would say recently I've just been working a little extra hard, so No, you definitely have, like, I, so all you have some acknowledgement? Oh, no, no, no. All credit to you. Like your lingerie was banging. Yeah. See that's weird though because like when I saw myself in the mirror, I saw a little bit of like chub that I thought I didn't have, but I think I did have.

So yeah, you're always very hard on yourself. But no, you, first off, it's the most tone. I've seen you even before. . Even before Lucy. Probably even before Lucy, like you said. Probably so, maybe not. Well, no, no, no. What what I'm, what I'm saying is because it's just the way it fit you, like it, the curves of your body have now like evened out.

Like you've, you've lost what? You, you had a flat stomach like you were in there. It was, it was very nice. Let's just say that. I won't go into all the like adjectives, but it was very nice. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. It was. Right. No, I, I, that atmosphere to me is like free. It is seeing you, free seeing, you able to kind of just, it almost feels like you're able to just be yourself in a sense.

So I think people, a lot of the times people assume that the club is like a giant orgy. Everybody assumes that. Kind of is, but it's not at the same time. It kind of is, and it's not at the same time, how many times have we gone there and there's nobody having sex with us? Okay. But that's okay. But I think people think like the club is like, everyone's like having sex with each other.

And that's not the case. I don't, everyone kind of goes in there with like their own person. Yes. And their own group. Um, so that isn't the case. Um, , it is a room full of people having sex. Like in general? Yeah, like oral sex, just the, yeah, like it's everything. Yeah. But there are also like private rooms in the club, so like, You.

I like the private rooms. Yeah. Like you don't have to have sex and have other people watch you. Like you, you can just like the idea of going in a new environment with the idea of, so like you're walking around basically naked and people admiring you, but you're having sex in the own privacy of like a room.

I think my favorite thing to do, and especially because it's like kind of a thing, I think is like a tr maybe it's not like a trigger or anything, but maybe it's like a. Boosting thing, but it's like to garner your attention privately before we go into like the big room or to go out in public, because I want you to know that like regardless of what's happening around us, that my focus is you and it's a, I can, I can verbally remind you, you know, that mental thing.

Mm-hmm. , but it's a lot of times it's not until I physically go, okay, we getting. Privately, I just want you to know, and then we can leave and go. You can see that my focus is still remaining on, on you. So that's a big, I think that's a big advantage of that, that club. But then again, that's like the only club that's worth it.

Yeah, but we haven't meant to the other ones, so we'll see. Well, there's only one more that we've been to and we didn't No, I meant like outta state and stuff, something. Oh yeah, that's true. We've never visited one. I mean, I would know about it. Yeah. I don't know what states have, I mean, other states, Florida has one.

thank you for tuning in to the Mixed Up Life. Subscribe and chat with us on Instagram and make sure to follow the adventures on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.