Episode 7 - The Mixed Up Soloist

Welcome to brand new Episode 7. This week we answer listener’s questions, relive our first solo experiences and our first swap. This is one episode you want some time for 😮‍💨.
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Episode-6
Episode 6 - Mixed Up In The Club
Episode-5
Episode 5 - The Mixed Up Night Out
Episode-4
The Mixed Up Fantasy
Episode-3
The Pillow Talk with Kim
Episode-2
MixedUp ToyBox
Episode-1
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Transcript

 The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed are the speaker's own and do not represent the views, thoughts, and opinions of any corporation, company, or employer. Let's get weird. This is the mixed up life. Let's face it. Most podcasts are boring and very few of them get real and raw. Well, we are definitely about to change that lifestyle, sex, parenting, relationships, entertaining and living in the moment.

Real raw conversations, the mixed up life. And now your hosts, Adrian and Kim.

All right. Welcome back to the Mixed Up Life Podcast. Yes, we've had a few episodes, now we do. I think we are on episode number 7, 7 8, depending on when you're listening to this. Yes. So it's been a whirlwind of things. We've really enjoyed hearing the feedback and seeing that everyone seems to enjoy it or most people.

If you are listening to us for the first time, welcome. My name is Kim, and this is, I'm Adrian. And we are the mixed up life. And we kind of just dive in on different random topics and then sometimes we really go off tangent. We try to reel it back in, but we hope you enjoy the ride and continue to follow us as we go through our journey of what it means to be in the lifestyle.

And what does it mean to be in the lifestyle after becoming parents? Yeah, that's a, that's a big one. I think. So one of the things we enjoyed the most, especially when it came to how quickly this took off and. We didn't realize at all that people were gonna be, first of all, listening to us talk. That doesn't make sense.

Uh, it still hasn't clicked. Like we talk all the time and you know, we sit down, whether it be pillow talk or just like conversations like this cuz we both work from home. And the fact that we have an actual audience of people listening and going, oh, I like the fact that you talked about this, or, I have a question about this or that.

That's kind of both exciting and scary too because it's like we thought we were pretty boring  when we started this thing. Um, yes, we do feel like we're just normal people. What do they call like the normal Joe? And what, what, what is Joe's wife's name? Oh, I don't know. . The Asher joke. It can't be, it can't be Joe Schmo.

I like that. Um, but yes, we are really enjoying being able to share our conversations and we hope that it makes it feel like we're inviting you to listen to us and be friends with us. Yeah, and that's exactly how I think it should feel. And that is exactly how the lifestyle is. You literally jump into conversations and you can just pick up wherever, ask them whatever.

You end up being surprised on the other end of it. Yeah. And there's never such thing as like a dumb question, just like, that's a teacher in me. It's like there's no such thing as a dumb question and there really isn't. And something that you guys should know is that it? This is just us talking. There's no really script.

There's like, okay, here's the topics and we just talk about it and. Believe it or not, we surprise each other because there are things that we talk about that, or things that we say and we're like, oh wait, I never knew that. That's how you felt. Yeah, and that's exactly how it should feel when you are having genuine conversations with your spouse or your partner, it should feel.

Very new almost. It's a, it's a new experience for you and for them to share insight with you and present a sense of vulnerability is growth in itself. I like that. And I think that's really cool, like being able to continue to be vulnerable with each other and learn. Yeah. That's a huge, that's a huge part of growth.

You ready to jump into some questions? Yes. Okay. So we have this very interesting question and I think we had talked about this before little bit because, so the question is, okay, affairs, let's say that you meet a couple. Yeah. Paint the, paint the scenario. I will. Okay. I'm trying to like think about this.

So you meet this couple on S D C and then you meet them in person. Okay. And I then just talk to the supposed wife, right? And the couple, and she goes, I'm not his wife, I'm his girlfriend. And she goes, but his wife doesn't know. And it's just, it works for us. And we only engage in just having. At the club.

So this is where we are. And he openly says, my wife doesn't know that I'm in this. So it's, what is it? It's ethically non-monogamous. You take, you take the ethically out of it. I know. So it doesn't know non-monogamous, right? Yeah. So it's not e and m, but, and it was funny, I remember when you, we first started our experience and you were on Tinder and it said e and m and my friend found you.

Yeah. Yeah. And she goes, I just wanted to know. I wanna make sure that you knew. And I was like, oh yeah, I knew. And she sends me, that's another Tinder, that's a whole nother thing. But wait, she sends me his Tinder profile and like, she's like, and I'm like scrolling and I've seen this, like we were looking, this is, and we'll get to this, um, in this podcast episode as well, like our first experience and what that meant.

But it was really funny because she sends me it and I scroll down and I go, Oh my gosh. So on Tinder it tells you what you've recently listened to. If it's linked to your email, I think. Yeah. And when you scroll down, it legit on Adrian's playlist says kids bought both the most recent , my not most recent, most listened to.

So my most listened to thing was Kid Bo kids, obviously. Cause yeah, we're in the car all the time. Did you? And I think he put in there that he's a dad. Yeah. Two kids. So it was just really funny. But okay. Circling back affairs. So husband's guy is married. Yeah, girlfriend has a girlfriend. Wife doesn't know.

They both are very open of their affair. They're like, this is an affair. This is something that his wife doesn't know. Yeah. Do you proceed? And how do you feel about that? Okay, so first off, I can't picture the scenario where maybe more so from the, I mean, this could be a gender bias.  more so from the girl kind of spilling the beans on that and be like, this is the scenario I want you to choose and have the information to choose for yourself before a physical act with us.

Right, like you're in the club setting. Yeah. But for some reason, I can't picture that scenario in which they spill the beans up front and you, and versus you finding out after the fact. Or it could just be someone that you met already and then you're like, Ooh, wait a second, this is a different person.

This is not your wife. I, I, I get that scenario more so here. Will I proceed in that? That type of thing. Yes. I probably wouldn't. Let me tell you why. Okay. So in this and she's like, real fine. I don't care. Listen hot. I've seen there's a lot of hot people in this room , that, that doesn't, that that shouldn't be the deciding, the deciding factor of anything.

Right? So when it comes down to it, . Mm-hmm. . I am a person who, I hate drama. If you have like a, even an inkling of drama and I feel it, I, I kind of wanna run away from it because that, if that can impact my home, that scares the crap out of me. Right? And what do we have here? I hold very dear and safe. And even things in the lifestyle I hold very sacred in terms of the way we conduct ourselves and our character, and the way we talk to people, interact, and try to be transparent and all those things, right?

So girl presents it like, Hey, just so you know, I have a husband, but he doesn't know about it.  and I'd be like, to me, that is not comfortable. And I know that if me and you were engaged in something and your husband was to find out, he's not gonna care about what information I was privy to prior to that.

Right? His, in his view, everything's gonna turn red and he's gonna go after the first, so maybe first thing you see, so in my eyes, I'm gonna call a no. Right? Because I do think there's a bit of transparency and there's relationships out there, right? We know there's many types of relationships and dynamics in which the wife participates.

The husband doesn't, or the husband participates in, the wife doesn't, or vice versa. But there's still the knowledge of it. There's still the information there, and that's the power. So if the information's there, boom, kudos we're, we're all green flags all the way. But the minute you tell me they don't know about it, it smells toxic.

It's not only toxic. . But it, it also starts to make me question, what else are you hiding? And that's the big key, right? The affair is just like the, the front end of it. That's true. What else are you hiding from me? Um, that may potentially put my health in danger, my household end danger, like all these things.

That's what, that's what where my head is at. Ah, did I change your, you you were gonna say something different. Did I change your mind? Yeah, but I still wanna, like, I'm very stubborn, so I wanna stand my ground on what well give. So give me pros, gimme cons. You, you've heard my, okay. So I think it's one of those things and I think it's, cuz it just angers me.

That problem. We always place blame outside our home before looking inside our home a lot. Yes. And that makes me so ooh, like cringey because it's, um, like if you were having an affair mm-hmm. . My reaction wouldn't even be on her. Like, while I'm like, yes, like chicks before dicks, like we, you know, we should always stick together and like, you know, you, I know that your, your wife and you have kids and this is your husband and I have all this knowledge.

Why would I engage and be a home wrecker? Right. Okay. Okay. Yeah. That's the mentality I'm, I think I'm supposed to have as a woman, as like this feminist and like, you know, remember, like I said, chicks before dicks, but that's not where my head is at. My head is at. Fuck that shit. Like, no, you're, you know what you're getting into.

And you know what, if I'm not the home recorder stop coming at me and attacking me, and one, I would never meet your wife to begin with. Well, you would think that, right? But I'm, I'm playing chess in a sense that I'm like 4, 4, 4 pieces ahead. I know, but you're, again, you're, you need to let me share my perspective.

Okay? Okay. Because you've already changed my mind and I feel like a complete mean girl. Like a complete, like, just like I feel like a bad woman because I am, I'm not being supportive of other women and it makes me feel weird. But I need you guys to hear me out. Like my viewpoint is that, It should not be on society for us to maintain our household.

What she knows could just simply be that, that he was available and he said he was getting separated from his wife. That is all I know. You cannot put a personal attack on me. That's if that's not something that I know. Information presented to you is very different. You can always plead ignorance. If somebody goes, you know, this is my situation, and they paint that picture for you, versus if they honestly go, my person doesn't know about this, and then a part of me that's very different.

Yes. But then a part of me is like, Oh, this is hot. Like it's forbidden . Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. . So then, then you come, you come back, you come back to like the forbidden fruit conversation. I, I totally get that. I get the, but I, I get that. Absolutely. But to my core, I am also a mom. I am also a wife. And I think I would be just heartbroken if I found out.

But at the same time, I'm such a, I'm a badass bitch that I'm like, fuck you, you cheated on me. I don't need this shit. I don't care. I hope you have fun. I hope you have a great life. That's you though. I know. So that's what I'm getting at. Like I wish our mentality could be that way, but I'm also like stone cold, cold-hearted bitch to my core that I'm like, you know what?

Fuck it. I was vulnerable with you. I gave it my all. We have two kids. But clearly there was a disconnect, and I'm not gonna beg you to stay with me if you clearly went out of your way to have affairs anyway, so That's true. We've already been broken. It is no one's fault. I, I think again, it is the presentation of information.

Right? It's, well, you get up front. I just don't, I know for me it's a, it is a no and it, it'll be a no because I don't know what's behind it. Yeah, no, it would ultimately be a no for me as well. Okay. Um, it's already to change your mind. I felt like I know, I felt like we a really good like battle to, to wage in your Yes.

And you made some good points, right? Yeah. Without all the, the X factor stuff, you made some good points, but ultimately I just don't like it when. I don't like it when both sex basically attack. Like, just be like, oh, no, no. Be like, you wreck my home and you wreck my home. And I was like, but why do you keep looking outside of your household?

Like, why aren't we looking internally? Yeah. And that's the point of one trauma and you're not addressing your own internal trauma and what's really going on in your household. Like, why wasn't the question like, why did you do this? Yeah. Instead of posing like, let me find this hoe and let me, you know.

Well, so I, with that being said, I think you're right. That's the, the classic narrative of. Blaming somebody else. Right. And it, it's just like the human condition of right there. And it's, it's really hard. Yeah, it is. And I'll be honest, I think that's the biggest challenge as humans. Like we are just, we always place blame.

Like we go, my boss is asking me to do all this stuff, and then it's like, well, crap, that is my job. So, and it's, it's that right? You, you just can't help it. And, and that's the case. But for me it is ultimately on the mor, on the moral side of it, I just have to say no. And I, I say no for a couple reasons.

One, because I don't wanna be caught up in some junk two,  two, I know there's. Plenty of transparent, good, honest people out there in this lifestyle. So you don't have to engage in them. Would you allow them to watch No. Participating? Just parallel play. Oh, that's fine. Listen, just not swapping. You're you, you are, as long as you are not touching, interacting, doing all that stuff, you are a fair game.

Like go sit on that couch. Do whatever you do. I'm gonna be over here doing I'm, I'm doing. There may have been people already doing that. Yes. See at a mini a night out. So remember I told you that if I had an affair mm-hmm. I would just be like, meet me at trap. That's it. There's no, you don't have to pay hotel fees.

That's sure. You don't have to do any, like we did talk about that. Yeah. Like you just go to trap, like you see someone in the office and you're just like, Hey, like my husband doesn't know, like your wife doesn't know. Just say you're going out to the bar and then I don't do this. You're, you're such a romantic, by the way.

It, it's okay. I would lie if I. I'm not into like the hotness of affairs, and it's not that, it's, it's because I romanticize things very TV and I have these like movie, it's very TV movie. It's like, come on, girls, like talking about going into the office seeing the Ty and you're like, fuck yes. Like, and, and you got your tight pencil skirt and your hair in a bun, stressed out.

And he comes in and he's like, I see that you're really stressed out and he bends you over on the desk and he just fucks the shit outta you. That's fucking hot. . And, and then, so that ma, you know, that makes me think of, because , I work in such like a volume of women driven environment. Yes. Yeah. I don't know.

I'm surprised that it hasn't happened. I'm waiting, I, and I tell you this all the time, I am.  when the day comes and you find a really hot woman that you work with and you wanna bend her over on the desk, please let me know. One cuz I'm curious to see how hot this woman is. And two, I'd be a little, can you like make sure that you fuck me first.

And then you're like, Hey, tomorrow I'm gonna do her just so . Just so that I can say, you bet me. And those hand prints and prints on your desk were mine first . Yeah. That kind of is different because of the whole work from home thing. So you go in the office occasionally. Yeah, occasionally. That's right. Uh, well, yeah.

I mean, but then they would definitely know why I'm in the office. They definitely would know. Yeah. It's kind of hard to To hide that. Yeah. To be like, why is your wife here? Or. Going to the supply closet, going in boardroom meetings at big corporate offices. . Okay. No, I just, I, listen, you're right. It's TV is movie.

We've all had those, those same thoughts. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't, but I'm, unfortunately, I haven't come across anybody to like spark that in me. So you have had that thought? No, abso have that thought. Yeah, absolutely. Of like a hot woman, like hot coworker coming in and today's the day you gonna get that out,

I mean, yeah. Like I've, I've had that same scenario play out in my head, like, admittedly, what does she look like? I mean, that's kind of unfair. What, why is that unfair, honey? So I haven't, first off, I don't have hot coworkers, , it's not unfair. I'm asking you. What, what does, does it look like? No, no, no. That's what I'm saying.

So 90% of the time it's like me just like going. If my wife could work for me, , I wish my wife worked for me. We talked about that. We did. We did. Okay. So we did talk about how if, and we're talking about like affair. So we're still on the topic. I'm proud of us. But we talked about how like if we didn't end up together, we would totally fuck each other.

Yeah, we totally, yeah, we would. No, if we worked in a vicinity of each other, absolutely. I'd, I'd go out of my way to make sure I'm within your path of eventually fucking Ooh. It's kind of hot there. Yeah. I go outta my way. Like there'd be like little tasks given to make sure we can get just close enough to eventually spark that.

But we're both married, have to regardless. Like we wouldn't be in the vicinity of each other. That's very, that's like if we are within the same office setting and you're married, you would have an affair with you. Yeah, absolutely. I would. That's kinda hot. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. What, what's my wife look like?

Does she look like you too? Babe. No, you're not married. Do I get two of you? You, no, that's not how that works. Like it would be like, this is my fantasy. Okay, fine, fine, fine. I'm not, she has a mole that's on her cheek. Uhhuh. . I don't have a mole on my cheek. Oh, that's the only difference factor. Yes, I can deal with that.

Yeah. So then we're doing it in the office, having an affair. She walks in and instead of like being super angry at me, she's angry at both of us. But instead it's like revenge sex, like right then revenge sex, then a threesome. Wow. That's quite a fantasy. Mr. Graham, on the spot. That feels pretty good actually.

that is not what I, there's no way that's gonna play out. But yeah, I think, God, if I didn't marry you, I would be married. So sorry. I'd be married to some Asian man with a small dick. Uh, no, that's a stereotype. So sorry. I don't mean it as a stereotype. Okay. But no, I'm not saying all Asian men have small dicks.

I would just happen to be married to a man with a small dick was liked. Wait a second offensive. Hold on. It was my luck that I'm stuck with and not only is it a small penis, it's a crooked penis. So there you go.

Wow. Okay, . No, no, that's crazy. That is very specific . So I would think you are married. You wouldn't be married to someone that looks like me. I envision you being married. . Someone who I think like you'd be married to a white woman. Really? Yep. White woman. The, and like tall, like CrossFit girl kind of thing?

Corporate like woman worker. Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess I don't see that at all, but okay. I think it'd be like a hot trophy wife, but like she works. Yeah. She's powerful. . Yeah. Everything that I'm not, yeah, I think I'll stick with you. I'm good. . I'm pretty well no, you'd have an affair with me. So you get the best of both worlds.

Oh shit. And you could really fulfill my fantasy of like sending me home dripping wet. Oh, okay. Alright. . No, no, that's, I mean, yeah, that's very movie, very TV call for, but we, we are together though and we're still wor we still need to play out like role play and fantasy. Yeah. The last time we tried to do that, I got yelled at because he said, this is my fantasy.

Like this is who I'm gonna, no, no, no. This is my role, . And you can't What a control freak. So lemme give you a background. So just brief, we'll talk about this in full. But basically in the role play, like I'm doing, I'm doing my role play and I'm actually, I feel pretty good about it. And she's like, no, you can't be that or you can't do that.

And I'm like, what are you talking about? This is my role, . This is me. Like this is, this is who I've chosen to be and this as far as me to stranger night. Yeah. Like I didn't even get to choose my own role. That's what it's gonna be. Okay. A single man out there. This is what you get into when you get married and wanna role play

Your, your, your fucking role gets chosen for. Yeah. Yeah. But it still ended up being a good night. Oh, it was great night. We said fuck the role play though. Yeah, but you are totally okay of throwing a, like a mask on me and just Well, that's not role play. That was just pure, like, good stuff,  good stuff. Okay.

All right. So we got done. We, we ultimately came to the nose on that, right? Yes. If we are knowledgeable about you being engaged in an affair is, if I don't know about it, that's on you. That's on you, that's on you. I, I ask a lot of questions. We vet a lot of things. I'm not gonna blatantly be like, is this really your wife?

No, no, no, no. Not like that. But we, you know, we go through the other, other stuff, but we're, we're not going to vet in terms of like your, if, if you are with a, a woman mm-hmm.  at the club, we're gonna assume that y'all together mm-hmm. . And we're not gonna dig into both of your hi relationship histor. , assume now if we see you with five different women or guys or whatever, then we're gonna be like, hold on a second, let me, but they, they could just be like, we're, we're Paul and that's fine.

Mm-hmm.  and, and we might vet it a little bit different between us. That's, that's different. But all we Oh, that's true. Yeah. Um, we do vet a lot of things between us Oh. Between us. So we don't like sharing. Yeah. Yeah. So, but um, yeah, that's, that's very different. Knowledge is power there when it comes to that scenario.

So if we don't know about it, don't be upset with us, like the real wives and husbands, cuz we genuinely didn't know. But if we did know about it, we wouldn't engage. No, no. It'll be enough for me. So just wanted to put that out there. I think it was gonna be a yes before I, I gave my, my answer. Oh yeah. Which, I mean, it's okay.

That's, I mean, that's cute. That's it too. If she's hot and she . No, I, I I can't. It's hot. Hot is like a dime a dozen. It is hot as everyone. Oh man. You're pulling out my heartstrings cuz it makes me think like she could be a mom. Oh, hot. And then the kid gonna grow up with no daddy might have two mommies. I think, I think of all the devastation I have two mommies,

I think of all the devastation that my dick could cause. Dick , I'm a responsible dick owner, A dick owner, , I'm a responsible dick owner. That should be a T-shirt. I'm a responsible dick owner on the back, like a little, keep all arms, legs,  inside the vehicle at all times. Yeah. No, I, I love it. That's all right.

Second topic. All right. What you got our first solo experience, but before we get into that, yeah, go ahead. When we first started this and talked about swapping mm-hmm. , we had the hard boundary of that we were gonna do solo experiences. Yeah. And the rules were very strict and. J Basically we would have our own dating profiles like it would, cuz we didn't know where we would find Yeah.

A person. And so the best way was just, I guess going on a dating app, right? Bumble and Tinder. Mm-hmm. . Tinder was Adrian, mine was Bumble. And it was like fun scrolling and just seeing what was out there. Man. Am I glad to be married? . . God. And the dating world is definitely not fun. I know. And people, it was really weird because like people are like, wait, you're married?

Like for real? And he knows. And I was like, yeah. And it was like that the very first time that when we first started exploring and I talked to Adrian about someone and he was like, that's fine. And so I approached this man and he was like, he was like, he knows about it and that's okay. Like, and yeah, it was like a very unbelievable, I, you know what?

Now that I think about it though, most women that talk to me did the exact same thing. They were like, oh, your, your wife is okay with this. I was like, oh yeah. And then a big thing thing to her, no, no, no. And the big thing was they wanted to talk to me and I said, I don't wanna talk to anybody. I was like, no, I'm not gonna be like, Hey, I'm real.

Like I'm totally okay with you fucking my husband  like so, and I don't wanna know what she looks like. Cause then I start wondering. So that was part of the thing of having solo experiences cuz I wasn't sure how I was gonna feel. It was just your experie and my experience. Yeah. So that was it. So I'm gonna let Adrian talk about his first experience and then I'll talk about mine.

Are we talking about like it going down? Yep. Like it go down. Where did you meet this person? Oh really? How did it play out? How long was it I guess? Okay. And um, what was your thought process? Okay. I mean, mine's pretty straightforward cuz I was on Tinder. Yeah, that's fine. And 10, I think Tinder's like designed to be.

Like not, not necessarily. Maybe now it's more dating. Okay. But for me it was very obvious. Like my profile, by the way, my profile and she kind of explained it earlier, was very like, Hey, e and m, like very, this is matter of fact, I'm not looking to date, I'm not looking for any of that. I have a wife. I, we also have like our wedding picture on there.

Yeah. Oh yeah. We had, I had multiple pictures of us together. Yes. Like I wanted to make it abundantly clear that this is nothing more than just like physical. Yes. Like that. That is it. So yeah. So it was actually ended up being uh, a couple, well she presented herself as just a woman on the profile, but she obviously was in e and m as well cuz it was like a couple on there.

Uhhuh  and enter trapeze. We ended up, like, I ended up going to trapeze.  and that couple was there single. Oh, but you But you didn't know that. Didn't they were gonna be there? I did not know. So you've already interacted with 'em before? So they approached me saying, oh, I think my wife saw you on Tinder. Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, um, so let me back up. Kim goes single night. It's a single, it's like single guys are allowed. She's like, go. Yes. She basically just says, go to the club. And I'm like, I'm really, first off I'm anxious cuz I've never been to the club without Kim, obviously. But then two, I'm a single guy, so I'm like, I know what the single guy world is.

It feels like very, like desperate and like you were walking in the club and you're like, what the fuck am I doing other than just gonna be sitting at the bar like texting my wife all night. Yeah. Like, which I had already. Planned in my head that to be the case. And then she's like hyping me out through the whole night, like through text.

Like, you gotta, you go out there, blah, blah, maybe you'll be at the bar, blah, blah, blah, etc. So, um, sure enough, like I was going to leave and this couple walks up, I was like, Hey, I think my wife, the guy actually approached me. I think my wife saw you on Tinder or whatever, and then turns out, yeah, I, I had seen her as well.

And then through a very short conversation, it was just like, I guess this is the solo moment. And when I tell you it was the shortest, fastest intro to like, sex minus my wife that I've ever had. I'm not even kidding you. Like, it was, it was like a flash in the pan. Like I I, if you're out there, sorry. But I didn't even like

I didn't even finish , like that kind of thing, but all the same. It wa it was an experience and it was, a lot of it, it was due to the fact that Kim really wanted me to have that experience. And I think it was just more of a let's just do it to try it. And for me it wasn't, it wasn't anything special or eye-opening or anything.

I think the only lesson learned was like, from then forward, I, and I think I even came home and I said, I want us to do this together. Like, I don't want, I don't want to be alone doing this. Like, I wanna make sure that like, at the end of the day, like not even at the end of the, at the start of an experience, I have you at the end of an experience, I have you.

And because that brings me the ultimate joy, the stuff that happens in between and the pleasure and like all that good stuff, that's great. But at least I'm there with you. And I mean, I've been, I've been with you for over a decade now. Why wouldn't I wanna be there with you?  in, in these moments. Right. So that's, that's kind of my experience.

That's, that was like my lesson learned from my solo, you know, outing. Did she, did she give you oral? So it was, man, let me, let me backtrack. So mm-hmm. , it was in the, there's like a little room before you get to like the group room. Okay. Right. That's where it was. So it's like you're walking back, there's like a group room and on the left hand side, and then it was right there.

She obvi, she didn't have any clothes on her to dress. Okay. First off. So that was like very easy. I didn't even address her. Okay. And so that's kind of hot. That's kind of hot. No, I like, I like a little bit of light , mystery . I like a little bit of light. Okay. Um, but anyway, so it was that. And then I think like, yeah, I think she, yeah, she did blow me.

Yeah, to get you up. Did it take a while or what were you, what was your mindset? I think first it was like, the initial was like, am I really doing this? Okay. That was the first initial, it was like, am I really doing this? And then obviously following that was like, am I actually like, turned on enough to do this?

Yeah. Okay. That was like my, yeah, we talked about that. That was like, I don't even know. You were like, I don't know if I can get turned on enough to Yeah. I was like, I don't know. Cause again, we had, it's only, yeah, it's only been us. So how was the scope? Um, so yeah, I mean, I was turned on enough, but not to the degree of where I went.

Like, it's like one of our session, obviously it's like one of our sessions, but then also the inexperience of her kicked in. And I can feel that immediately. So you ever meet somebody and they kind of have, I I give it like the pub, the public speaking shakiness. Okay. You ever, you ever see that? Yeah. She had that, but.

Sexually. Okay. Like, but d wouldn't it be like a better experience because she's like tighter? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I listen, I'm a full believer, and especially now, and I, I tell you all the time, I want your, you to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible. It came off as very, like maybe her husband kind of like, was pushing her a little bit further into it Okay.

Than what was needed. Okay. She still wanted the experience. Okay. And she communicated that very well. And she came. She, she did. But it was a matter of like, I have to, she, it is like taking a leap. Did you, o what position did you do? We were a doggy. Okay. Yeah. And, and that was kind of like a very, like insistent, like she just, she wanted to get like right, right after like blowing me.

She was just like right to it, like getting a doggy, like climbed up on the thing in the doggy. And then it was, was it hot? It was for like, like that, that moment it was okay. But then like after she came, it was like, she didn't even let you finish. She said, okay, I'm done. Yeah. She was, she was just like, I'm not, I can't go more than this.

Oh. I think it was more of like, um, we, we, we talk about this a little bit today and it's like we watch videos of ourself. Yeah. And you're like, I can't believe I let you do that. Yes. To me, yes. I can't do those things with other women. Well, shit, why the fuck not I, it's so hot. Not without, it's like, so like, again, I, I just want other women to experience, but I kind of don't.

But I kind of do cuz I'm like, damn. Like you need to know what it feels like to have a good fuck and then like, But then I'm like, and then I'll tell Adrian, be like, but wait, like if you're gonna fuck her like that, you have to fuck me 10 times as hard. Add some fun and love to your podcast playlist with the Mixed Up Life Podcast.

A podcast far from Ordinary with a dash of extraordinary. Join host, Adrian and Kim on an adventure to navigate this mixed up life with chats, covering topics from love and romance to real talk about personal stories and experiences. Each episode is a fun, real in wall conversation about stories we can all relate to in our mixed up lives.

Join in on the fun and listen to the Mixed Up Life podcast on Spotify, apple Podcast, and wherever you get your podcast. Yes. So I think that if you are ever gonna fuck a woman, yeah. The way that you beat my ass, like don't not beat it, but like, oh my God, how do you, it sounds horrible the way that you. God, I wish.

There's literally no other way that I could say it. It is literally your dick just like getting it. And it's like hot cuz you want it. You're spanking me. You're grab now you guys know what kind of sex, I'm brilliant . So, but Right. So that, that kind of, that kind of sex, you, you can't have with a strangers.

That's true. On a, on a whim. That's true. Right? That's true. That's true. You can't go out there biting on other woman's nipples, baby. Well, no, I definitely not, but I, so it was a couple of different things. It was one, like, I think it was more of, and maybe it, maybe it was more of a, um, like a cut hold scenario.

Okay. Right. We talked about that. A lot of couples have that. Right. So do you feel like it was like that because her husband wasn't as attractive? I mean, and that's possible. Like, and I, and I think a lot of women in the lifestyle, they don't, they don't mind that.  that fantasy, right? It's just like, Hey, I, there's a guy I know that is like, wham, bam, get it done.

And then there's like my husband at home who's just like, Hey, we have casual sex every once in a while. And it's like, hey. Right. And you can't judge that though, cuz that's it. That's some people's, yeah, I know, but I, but I, I'm not judging, I'm thinking like, damn, babe, can you imagine me going, Hey, we're just gonna have like casual sex and then I'm gonna go fuck so-and-so over there.

It's, it's hard for me to enter that scenario just because we don't have the vanilla sex. I'm just asking you. I can't, how would you feel about that? Oh, if you found out, like if, can you imagine like, finding out to me that like, you're having vanilla sex with me and then like you find out.  that I've been having sex with.

Leonardo . Yeah. Um, no. So I, I would obviously feel some type of way and as a, as a guy who worked like really hard to like lose that kind of like mm-hmm.  facade, masculine ego that, all that toxic shit. Right. I would still feel some kind of way. Yeah. Right. Mm-hmm. , because it is, for me, it's taking away my power to learn.

That's true. So for instance, if you were ever not satisfied at home and you go seek it somewhere else, just purely sexual satisfaction. I wouldn't be mad at first the other guy, I wouldn't be mad necessarily at. I'd be more internalizing. What didn't I step up to the plate for? Right. That's true. Two, then I would turn my attention back to you and go, why didn't you give me a chance to learn?

Yeah. So just like how I talked to that comedian that talked about like, I want you to do it the way Craig does it , you know? Um, but I will never know because I've never had better sex than with you. I mean, we've been together since 19 and it's all that I've known. I mean, if you had better sex in your teen years, no.

I didn't know. No, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing back then. And I think that goes, that goes for a lot of guys, but one thing I know that makes our sex really good. Right. And even if, even if you, you were with another guy, right? And coming your brains out. Oh God, right. It, it can happen. There's nothing wrong with it.

I know that I'm the type of guy that, where it's like, oh, I'm still gonna get it done. Mm-hmm.  and. The only reason I know that now a couple years ago, I probably could have been like completely different, Adrian. It would've like bothered me to my core. Now I'm like, fuck no, let's learn. Let's grow, let's experiment, let's continue this path.

Right? Same thing. It, I don't think personally that it is ever gonna happen, but if a woman was to ever rock my world, I'm not gonna be like boasting it. But instead I am gonna implement some of the saying be like, shit, I like this. And you're the type, the reason you are my wife is because you're willing to be like, oh yes, he likes this.

Yes, I'm giving that. Yes, but I would give it better. It's always having a one up. Remember what we talked about, the Asian mentality? And I told you, and I said, it's a stereotype. Um, it's a stereotype, but Adrian also called me borderline racist because of it. And I was like, it's not racist. Like, so it's.

It's like when you walk into the room and you are the only race in there, like you're representing your race, right? Yes. And you're like, I'm, I'm, I have to be the best I, if I'm gonna be the Asian in the wo the room, I'm gonna be the best Asian in the room. Totally good. Yep. And if I'm gonna be like the Asian woman in the lifestyle, I'm gonna strive my best to be the hottest Asian woman in the lifestyle.

Excuse me. I never knew that. And I don't have to, and I'm not saying that I am, I'm just saying like, that's my mentality and I think it must be a gene thing. It's gotta be, God forbid I didn't hand this down to my daughter, which I'm pretty sure I did. Yeah. But it's just like that mentality of like, fuck, like, but I think it's almost like any woman, like you want to be, of course the best version of yourself.

And it, I'm not. Try to take anyone's shine away. I'm just saying like, that's just my mentality, but it's also the mentality to help you drive To be better. Yes. To grow. Yes. Listen. So regardless of, of the couple of experiences that we've had, right. There's a couple things I noticed, right? One is w it can't be the same style of sex that we've had.

Alright. Okay. No, I mean seriously, like, I'm just trying to think what that means. Spanking, choking, like, yeah. But what if she said like, I like to be spanked, I like to be choked. Then it would be like, I want you to watch this video and make sure

you, it's like an instructional video, but like you're, but you're, I'm there. So you're like, let me, let me just show you. So I'm gonna show you and then I'm gonna have my wife narrate you through this because I, that's like your biggest thing. You have been wanting me to walk another woman through this, but, uh, cause it, listen.

Consent, all that great stuff. I am like hand on like to the sky on my heart, like pledge to it. Consent is everything to me. Yes. And in our style of sex, right? Our dynamic, whether it be slow, it start rough, et cetera, and it gets where it gets, I know my safe words, it starts to become what, what do they call it?

Consensual non-consent. Yes. It's like where we know at any point in time you can say no. Oh no, it's not even, no. Adrian will tell him. So, because she's a big girl, she'll tell me, she'll tell, she knows her safe word. My, my quote is, she's a big girl. She'll tell me. And but strangers don't know that, right?

That's true. So consent is everything. And I think there it takes now with experience, I think it takes a little bit more of a vetting process to go. Okay. I just want you to know, like, first off, it'd be nice to know. What each other likes. Right. And I think we've told people in the past, like recently we've told a couples like, you don't have to be lovey dovey, you know, to, to woo you.

Oh, yeah. So that's another thing. Yeah. And we'll go back to my experience, but you're right. So I'm just gonna put this out there. If I have an attraction to you and I like you, like I'm vibing with you, I feel safe. My husband's already there. I feel safe and secure. So I know that I, I'm gonna be in a good place.

Yeah. You don't need a wmi, I don't need to know your favorite color. You definitely don't have to go get me a drink or anything. Like, fuck, like, let's just get this done. Like, show me what you got. Like, like, fuck me. And like, just like, let's do this. But, and also the expectation for women, I'm sorry, he's not gonna woo you.

He's not gonna hold your hand. He's not gonna like try to charm you. He's not. I think it's the true, and, and I hate even saying this because. . This goes against everything. I, I hate when people go, what's your sign? And see it like that. Oh God. This is probably the only time it actually makes sense though.

You know who I am in person. Yes. Right. You know who I am as a father, as a husband, out in public, all that good stuff. Mm-hmm. . Right? But there's something about sex where that other side is there. And once that flip switches, that's the true, like Gemini of it, of like savage. I, I am not going to cuddle you.

I'm not here to stroke your fucking hair. Actually, quite the opposite. I want to leave you in a puddle and you can talk about it when you're sore tomorrow. What did we talk about Adrian? We said, if you do this, you have to also have the energy to do it with me. Has that, has that, has that ever failed? No, because I'm the only woman that

Exactly right.  never failed. So I was like, so what? That being said. So yeah, let's move on to your, so I'm sorry we go off on a tangent. Your solo experience and then we may even have time to talk about our For swap. Swap. Yeah. All right. Go for it. Boom. Oh, man. So I went, I feel like you've been through, went through it has, and my experience was not, for lack of better terms, it wasn't positive for me.

it was terrible. And, but the highlights are was I, I felt safe enough. Okay. And he was really nice and he checked in on me throughout. Okay. Like, he was like, are you okay? How are you feeling? That part I really appreciate in the lifestyle that the men are very.  For the most part, all the men that I have met have been very nice in a sense of like checking in to make sure they're very gentleman.

Yeah, they're, and Adrian's right, it's like a consensual thing, like consent. Right. And it's like checking in like, are you sure you're okay? Like, I wanna make sure that you're comfortable with that. I'm doing this. So I met this guy on three fun and he was really like, we had a conversation. We were, what is it?

Uh, talking through Snapchat and it was just a matter of comfortability. And one day I was like, you know what? Let's just do this. Like, let me just like dive in. You're my first experience. He sounded like he had so much experience, like he really talked up his game. Okay. And I thought he was okay. Like he wasn't, he looks nothing like Adrian.

Complete opposite. Hmm. God if I, I'm terrible. I'm not gonna tell what he looks like, but he looked like the, like the Walmart version of Prince Harry. Oh my God. I have no clue what? No, no, no, no. Like the, okay. Think like Ed. She Okay. Skin thing. I dunno. I'm just trying to like, so that you have an idea. He doesn't look like my type at all.

Okay. Like when we were talking, I think it was just a matter of being comfortable. Okay. Like I was like, okay, like I feel comfortable enough and so we use the day use app. I use the day use app. Okay. And I was like, Hey, just meet me here. And like I had music playing and you saw what I was wearing and it was just, It was not, I played out my own fantasy that it did not play out because, and I was already there.

He turned out not to be what I thought he was gonna look like, but I was already there and I was just like, well, okay, like, let's just get this over with. I mean, he could have been that far off the mark in  in terms of that. It is very sad because you're very, you're, you're very picky. I am, but because I was already there.

Okay. I was just like, I, I couldn't do it again. Like, I couldn't do like go through it again. Like I didn't wanna go through the vetting process again, and I was already there. It was a lot. That's why the experience. Yeah. It was so, so much work for me. Me. What were the, what were the pros from the experience?

He was just nice that he. He was just during it. He just checked in. Okay. I really appreciate him checking in cuz then it made, because it was a solo experience and while my location was on and everything I did have in the back of my mind that like, it, this could seriously go wrong. Okay. Like something could really happen here.

No ma'am. But he reassured me that it wouldn't. Okay. It was very like, but I, I played out the exits. I knew what I needed to do. Yeah. I listen, I, that's another thing to you. And, and he also talked to Adrian never. Like he never, yeah. Yeah. So he, Adrian never had that vibe from him either. Mm-hmm. . And so it was just like, it was fine.

I think I, I was just playing it in my head. We did quite a bit of things, but I was not, I was so disappointed I told me that. What, what was, what was the highlights? What was the things like that No, I'm not gonna tell you highlights cuz I just gave you highlights. The highlight was that he was Okay. All right.

Yeah. All right. Fair enough. , but like his dick wasn't what I wanted . And he was sweaty and hot and his body wasn't what I wanted. And so at one point, like we're doing it missionary and then like he was spitting on me like he was spitting on my vagina. It was like really weird. And it was not what I, it was just really weird.

And I was like, this is new. I was like, this must be okay. Uhhuh . And at one point we're like doing it missionary and then I was like, let's just do a doggy. So I just like, was just like, let me just turn around like I don't wanna see you. You can just get it from the back. Like have at it And like, this is sad.

Like just let it just, have you ever done that to me? What been like, let me just turn around and get it over. Oh yeah. Not like recently, but like in the first couple of years of our marriage. Oh yeah. Like I was like, he just, I was like, I know I'm a wife and I need to get this done. Oh, fair enough. Alright, so I'll just spend over and you just like get what you want and that's exactly what you did.

But anyways, that's exactly what happened. And it, and how he came off was he jerked off like okay and just like made me hold his balls. . Oh my god. . So back to my first experience, it was not really a positive one. So, so ended with you holding some guy's ball. Yes. And he just came on my stomach. What an experience.

Yeah. And I, because I used the day you sat. Yeah. He went to go take a shower cuz he had to work and I was just kind of like laying there and he got out of the shower and he was like, okay, well I'm gonna go to the work, go to work. And I was like, okay, cool. Like, and it was just, there was no hug, there was no kiss or anything.

I was like, okay, de is like bye. I mean that's, that's kinda how and that's how, yeah. And I went to go take a shower after he laughed and he was like, Hey, it's just me coming back in, leaving you money for the hotel, like my part of the hotel. And I remember telling you like, I felt like a cheap, like , my God.

And I was just like, and I knew what it meant. But I think in that moment, for me it also meant a lot more like,  was a very big shift. Okay. In my perspective because I really missed you. Like I was like, I wanna reconnect with my husband. I feel really lost and just kind of used up and like weird right now.

Okay. So it would be better if my husband was present. And I remember telling you that I didn't want to tell you how my experience was until you told me your experience. Cuz I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. Ah, yeah. You put a big emphasis on that just because we're so, we have really great chemistry.

Yeah. And we're on the same page for a, like a lot of the important things. Yeah, for sure. The nuances of like some day-to-day things. No, but like the grand scheme of things were usually on the same page. Well we definitely, like, that's one thing we, after our solo experiences, we decided like we, we came together like, hey, we want to be in this together.

Mm-hmm. . And that doesn't necessarily mean I need to be like all up in your space like, , you know, during an experience you can absolutely be in the same room as me, you know, other side of the room, even like playing or whatever. Yeah. Having fun. But the reality is like, I'm, I'm there, I'm present. Mm-hmm.  and vice versa.

So, um, but it is not, lemme just tell you. So, oh, and I haven't spoken to him again. Like, and I remember afterwards, afterwards I messaged him and I was like, yeah, this isn't, it's, it's not gonna work. Like, I was like, it, it was fun. And then he was like, can I ask why? Mm-hmm. . And I said, cuz I'm shallow and you're not my body type.

And he Okay. Got really offended because he was just like, you're telling me 10% body fat isn't what you want. And then I was like, you asked me like, why are we doing this? And then that started me questioning. Are you in the lifestyle? Because you're, you shouldn't be. You did. I do remember that. Yeah. I was like, this is really weird.

Like, why would you ask me that? And then get completely offended when you're like, can you be honest? And then he said, good luck. And I was like, okay, thanks, bye. I was like, well that again, that's one of those kind of like male ego things. Yeah. And I think take yourself out. I worry though, sharing my first experience out here and putting it on the podcast honestly so soon because it makes me, this is a very vulnerable state cuz I'm like, I feel terrible.

Like it wasn't a good experience. And if he's listening, like, you know who you are and that's just me being frank. Like, but you know what? You could be someone else's pleasure. Just not mine. Very true. So, yeah. But I mean, both of our experiences were kind of obviously very lackluster. Like we didn't, we didn't walk away other than knowing and securing the fact that we kind of do this thing together.

Yeah. And I wasn't, I don't think we were looking for a like, no, like hot. Sex or anything. I think we were just wanting to see what that experience would be Yeah. Would look like and what it would feel like. And then we did and we came together and that's where I like for us, it's like we start together and we end together.

Yeah. That's all it's, and ever since that decision, it's been like really good and we haven't deterred from that. Yeah. It's been really good. Mm-hmm. . So now we are gonna move to our first swap, which was really good. Yes. It was incredible. Our first like official swap was really, really good. So we went down to Miami and fyi, whenever you meet us on s e c or you're messaging, you're messaging Adrian, you're not messaging me.

Yeah. I do all the communication. Yeah. One is, because obviously I wanna filter through, like I don't want my wife to be exposed to like, I'll give you a perfect example. Somebody like earlier, not earlier today, last night, like me, it was obviously the husband of the group was like, Hey, does your wife like dp?

Like. That was the first message sent to us, and I wrote back like, wow, what a greeting. Like, because I felt like that was just so, like, what? What comes after that to make me like you? Right? Like, like really and truly. Like even, even in this, I know it's a very sexually positive. Yeah. So Adrian vets the whole process.

Yeah. So whenever you meet. That is me meeting you for the first time. Yeah. I don't know anything about you. I tell her like the inklings, but Yeah. But so he'll tell like, so we went to Miami and he was like, Hey fyi, we're meeting a, a couple of couples tonight. And I was like, okay, can you like tell me who they like when they're coming because we're kind of in a space where I'm like, I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. Who they are or what kind of No. Gave gave her like the rundown before. Yeah. So we meet this couple and we hang out with them the first night and then the second night we met other couples through this couple at Trap. Mm-hmm. . And so we go and it's feeling good, like we're having drinks and we're all having a good time.

And Adrian and I end up just going to the. Like, we're going to the back. Yeah. And we're just like, Hey, we're, we're gonna go. They're like, we're gonna go play. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, okay, yeah, let's go play. So we go to the back and there's, it's very different than the trapeze in Atlanta. Um, their group setting room is a little different.

And I'm pretty sure there are mirrors in trap at Atlanta in the group room, but not, I don't know if it's on the ceiling. Mm-hmm. , but it was a different opening. Like there's, it's just very, very open compare. And the, the lighting, um, you could see a little easier. Okay. Because at trap Atlanta, it's awfully dark sometimes, so you can't kind of make out, so you can see faces in here.

Um, but we're engaged and we're having a good time. And then two couples end up being right next to us and they start engaging and playing. Yep. And then the couple to the right of me, the girl starts like groping me and like caressing me. And by the way, we had met this couple. Previously in the night. So they had come to the, we were eating, we're drinking.

Um, and you know, it's like, and, and now that I think about it, this is exactly the kind of woman I wanted Adrian to kind of have his first swap. I think she, what, where was she from? She was Colombian or Argentina? She was Okay. Argentina. She was either from Argentina, Argentina and living in Columbia, or she was Columbian living in Argentina.

Vice versa. It was one or the other. Okay. She was, her body was just good. Like her ass was good enough, like nice enough for Adrian. So you put some high standard on, oh my God, I have such high standards. Like Adrian has to have the best of the best. Like, I'm just like, I'm not, I feel like I'm so average that I'm like, you need to go fuck someone that's.

Like 11, 12 stars. Um, just because like you married me, so I was like,  ridiculous. So anyways, um, that's just what I want for my husband. I know Adrian feels the same way. , we, so we had met them pre previously in the night. Not like they were just complete strangers next to us. Yeah. But we had done the introductions, so I was feeling the moment and I said, let's swap.

And I was like, can we swap? And Adrian was like, yeah, yeah. Let's, let's do it. Yeah. Bring, bring we up. Bring organic. Yeah. And we ended up swapping and. I didn't know how I was gonna feel cuz you, you like licked her. And I remember saying like, I was like, oh, but I wasn't feeling, it wasn't toxic. It wasn't like toxic energy.

I wasn't angry. I was like, oh, okay, well this is different and I don't mind it. Like that's the part where it's at. Like, I was like, I don't mind it. Like, I was like, it's okay. But, um, her, she then in turn came to me and was just like, you, do you want some, like, I think she start like, and I was like, no, I'm good.

Like, um, oh, like Aura on her husband, on on her husband. I was like, no, it so high school's you wanna,

so we swapped. But I noticed it's just different. Yeah, it's different sex. And I remember telling Adrian, like, I was like, he felt so close, like for a minute. Honestly, I didn't know that we had. S we swapped. I knew we swapped, but then when he entered me and I was like, whoa, you're like real close. Like dude, like I was like, it was close in a sense of like, God, this is, it was a good experience guys.

I'm just telling you, it was just different cuz I could see the girth and length are different and I could, and I know you're like, size doesn't matter. But I was like, I could feel cuz it was you and then it was him and he was really close. Okay. To me. So he was getting, it was a lot closer than I anticipated.

Okay. And it wasn't intimate, it was just different, like I said. Yeah. Yeah. Um. , and this is just us being transparent of our first experience. So I'm just laying it all out there. We could lose a lot of this. The nurses No, no. Just from me, like saying all this. And so I, I, I, you do, you're transparent. That's, that's great.

So in this, it surprised me first, the whole organic feel of it. I didn't, I didn't think it would feel as natural as it felt. Yeah. Because there was no, that was the first thing. It was so easy and comfortable. Yeah. That it was just like, okay. And they put on condoms and Yeah, we, you know, they swap. And, and then at one point I was like, okay, let me turn around.

And he's like, uh, okay. And he was totally into turning me around. And then Adrian like turned her around. And then we were like, me and the girl were making out. And like at one point she was like, you know, mouth on my nipples. Like it was hot at one. At one. Kim had like her, Toya at one time.  and I used the toy on her.

Yeah. So she was like doggy or something. Yeah. And like, so that was one thing. Like I could, she was a little bit uncomfortable with like depth. Like depth is like see, so it is a thing. See, that's what I was saying. And it is again, that length and girth, it was always like organic when you get like that hand on your chest.

Like, uh, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I didn't do that with him. It was almost like, dude, why are you, and I think at one point you saw my face and then you started choking me because I was like, why are you holding back? Like, and then you Oh yeah. Laid your hand on me. Yeah. And then like we, and then we just like swapped back.

Um, that was actually pretty hot though, cuz at one point in time, like I was fucking her pretty hard. And then like I reached over and was choking you. Yeah. At the same time. So that, but the hottest part of all that was, uh, there was actually three women like you and like the middle. This is after we saw swapped back.

Yeah. And. . Like I had you doggy style and then you were like licking on this one girl. And then the Yeah, like licking her tits. Licking her tits. Yeah. And then there was like another girl like trying to make out with you in the middle. Yes. I was like, oh my God, this is . This is incredible. Like what is, and then you look up in the mirror and it's like, oh, that's my favorite part.

So that is where my swap is. My favorite. It is when I was laying on my back and I was looking up and I saw the mirror and you could see everybody just engaged having sex. And it was like, and it was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen because I was like, look at all of us in our natural element, just like get in our car.

Like I was like, it was, so that was a lot of fun and I didn't know how that was gonna play out. Yeah. Until like, I was like, okay. And then we laughed. Right. And the next day we saw them. Mm-hmm.  and the guy, like, I didn't know what the experience was like because remember like I told you, I was like, just hit it and quit it.

Like, you don't need to like woo me. And like, but it was really sweet of him to like, he whispered in my ear and he was like, oh, I get to see you again tonight. And then I was like, I don't, yeah. The co So the couples actually really nice cuz the girls kind of gave that same like accolade, like, oh, I'm glad y'all y'all here.

Yeah. Even though we didn't end up playing with, we don't know them. Like we actually, I don't think we know them on sdc. We do, they're us as friends. Yeah. Oh, see, so now know that we actually have friends like that they, that we thought, um, they made it a mission to like fi like add us. Like after that night, I kind of wanna know what they look like cuz I can't remember.

Like I know they look the same. Yeah. Like I was like, they were a really nice couple and I really enjoyed it and I thought it was a lot of fun. So if we see them in Miami again, probably. Yeah, it was, it was good. Um, but that was our first swap and experience and we had a really good time. And that whole Miami trip was just amazing.

It was a lot of fun. Yeah. We did brunch, we had Oh my goodness. Crazy sex. We met like fun people. Yeah, that was good. We did, yeah, like that was one of those things where it was just so random, but I think we ended up making like you got along with this one girl so well. Like I'm pretty sure you made like a lifelong friend, like that could be in like another city, but you still like check in, that kind of thing.

Um, which I enjoy seeing the most. I think me and her husband, at one point in time we were standing back, we had like drinks in our hands. We were standing back at the bar and y'all were dancing. . Yeah. Now y'all are on the dance floor. Just having a great time. Literally, there's nobody else on the dance floor and it's like her and this other woman on, on the dance floor, but they're having such a good time.

And then her husband like turns to me and was like, see this? This is what I love. I love seeing my wife having a good time like this. And I was, and at that same time I was like, I'm sharing the same sentiment, like I'm watching you dance and just ha, just be free and have a great time. There's nobody else.

There's no judgment. Like you can just have a blast. And that same sentiment came across my mind. I was like, this is what I love. I love seeing my wife have a good time. Yeah. So we will end this podcast there that if you are new to the lifestyle and you're nervous, just know that you're not alone. That we have all started somewhere and you out there you could have ha you can have an amazing first time experience.

Yeah. We are just talking about our experience. And Adrian's experience wasn't bad. I just, I had higher expectations for myself. I think high expect like the way that I painted it. But we had an experience. And again, with being in the lifestyle, it's all about, for us, it's trial and error. And we would not have known what we liked or what we didn't like unless we dived in with open hearts and open minds.

And. . I think that's the one thing that if you're new to the lifestyle or you're just now listening or you're curious, know that it all starts somewhere and your curiosity is completely normal. It is not. Yeah. At you're, you are not by any means weird, or it is normal for us as humans to have different thought perspectives throughout our life and it changes.

It's just a matter of finding a partner or being with a partner comfortable enough where you're like, Hey, I just have this thought. Like, what is your perspective? You know? And you can kind of gauge it from there. So we challenge you to have open conversations with your partner, whether you are in the lifestyle or not in the lifestyle.

Really challenge each other to grow in that.  test that. And that's okay. Like the only reason, the only way to grow through conversation is to simply have conversation. Yeah. You gotta be vulnerable. That, that's a huge part of it. And during that time, like for instance, like our solo experiences, our swap, like we were at our most vulnerable.

Um, but the thing that we did consistently is like we came to the table to go, this is what it was. Mm-hmm. . And this is, this is what I know now. This is what I've learned from it. This is what I'm growing. Like, we were completely transparent and if not for doing that we wouldn't be where we are right now and we wouldn't still be growing and learning and, and applying those same things we did then to, to now.

So, um, while not the greatest solo experiences, I think it led to some, some great together experiences. Yes, it did. Yeah. And we were able to grow and learn from our experiences. Yeah. And we continue to grow and learn. It's been really great and fun and I'm.  glad that I'm able to share this because I think, I'm hoping that it helps at least someone  that like it's okay.

Like it's not gonna be perfect and, but you have to be willing to be open enough to try it and come back and process it. And I think that's how we worked about it. Yeah, just processing together and communicating. Having that open communication. You can't just say, I'm an open book and I'm not gonna judge you, and then.

You have this conversation and then like you just run off. Yeah. Um, so you just gotta really act on it. But thanks for joining us. Let us know if you have any other questions that we hope that we answered the two questions. Three, but yes. Yeah. Until next time y'all, we'll see. Thank you for tuning in to the Mixed Up Live, subscribe and chat with us on Instagram and make sure to follow the adventures on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.